Be harder on yourself, You deserve better.

Be harder on yourself, You deserve better.

The entirety of the feature image’s quote is as follows:

“At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: “I have to go to work — as a human being. What do I have to complain of, if I’m going to do what I was born for — the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?” So you were born to feel “nice”? Instead of doing things and experiencing them? Don’t you see the plants, the birds, the ants and spiders and bees going about their individual tasks, putting the world in order, as best they can? And you’re not willing to do your job as a human being? Why aren’t you running to do what your nature demands? You don’t love yourself enough. Or you’d love your nature too, and what it demands of you.”

Marcus Aurelius “Meditations” Book 5 Entry 1.

Let that resonate within yourself for a moment.

You don’t love yourself enough. Or you’d love your nature too, and what it demands of you.”

Love yourself enough to be HONEST with YOURSELF.

Honest about the fact that you can:

Be better every single day.

Do more than what you are now.

that you ARE competent and CAN get even smarter.

That you are strong and can get even stronger.

All it takes is your burning desire to become better.

Nobody on this earth can fucking tell you otherwise.

Sure, you may not be a 4.0 student whose graduating summa-cum-load at an ivy league college.

But you probably know more about how to fix HVAC systems, welding, speed-running tactics, or even Magic The Gathering than the guy making $175k a year doing taxes.

Having expertise is always valuable given you are in the right domain.

Utilize your strengths and work on whatever your perceived weaknesses are.

Why this title?

Social media platforms are FLOODED with a fuckton of hand-holding and coddling.

You will see SO many people posting about “avoiding beating themselves up over things!”
Why would they not try to change their thoughts and behaviors?

BECAUSE!!

“Things will pass!”

Besides, you’re exactly enough!! just the way YOU are!!

Guys, please do not fall in the trap of taking inaction.

I was in this same boat for the longest time.

(See the time gap from my birthday to this blogpost, nearly 6 months.)

I have been “busy” at work, reading, taking a vacation and working 1 on 1 with people doing fitness consultations.

As a result, I left this site and the channel almost entirely.

Now, some might say That it’s a GOOD thing, I deserve a break and I’m still “working”.

While that’s technically true, I genuinely love writing and putting out information that can help people.

I’ve been detracting my time from something I am passionate about because “I was busy” and “I was doing enough”

I have said for YEARS that

“You make time for what’s important”

I think it’s time to be even more actionable with that.

I outlined the above excuses for a reason.

The very same people will NEVER change those habits that get them into ditches because it is a POPULAR and socially acceptable way out of assuming responsibility these days.

This is NOT a dig on mental health, by the way.

Getting your mind RIGHT is the single most important you can do for yourself.

Bar nothing.

If you are thinking yourself into darkness and oblivion, something is fundamentally fucking wrong.

That is NOT what this post is about.

I am not here to tell you that you are worthless if you aren’t working yourself to death.

This is to remind you that you can do more and you owe it to yourself to be the best version you can be.

Everyone’s workload is different.

That being said, we all definitely have ATLEAST 5-6 hours a WEEK that we could use better.

A Practical examination of time waste

This short always baffles my friends to a minor degree when they hear it out loud.

“you’re wasting half a years worth of workweeks, PER YEAR.”

Every single one of us can be going EVEN farther in life, by just holding ourselves accountable for each area we are fucking up.

It does not matter where ANYONE is currently at, all you need to do is look up and move in that direction.
As long as you don’t get in the camp of
“I’m perfect just the way I am! I refuse to change”

Then you are already on stable footing.

For anyone who stumbles across this to just hate-read the post:

If you’re unhappy with yourself and also think “I shouldn’t need to change, what’s wrong with who I am?”

Then I am curious as to WHY you would be reading to this point, BUT thank you for at least being willing to listen to a dissenting opinion.

It is NOT wrong to feel shitty about fucking something up, do you know why?

That is how you fundamentally understand that you have the ABILITY to be BETTER or could have done things differently.
It’s how everyone learns in hands-on experiences:
If you fuck up there are repercussions.

You deal with them, then you dust things off and do better next time.

With MOST things in life, there is a fine line between feeling shitty about making an error while you work on your improvement, or lamenting the situation until life becomes unbearable and it consumes you.

So use GOOD judgment when deciding what’s worth your time to think back on and what you’d do differently NEXT TIME.

A decent rule of thumb I use is to see how that same error would fuck me up if I repeated it, Almost immediately.

If nobody would step in and be capable of fixing it a second time, how catastrophic would this be?

“Why should I be HARDER on myself? Don’t I deserve better than to speak negatively to MYSELF?

Being hard on yourself is NOT being negative. That is a victim mindset.
for example:
“Wow, I’m a fucking IDIOT. I can’t believe I managed to fuck up something as SIMPLE as flipping a switch. How much more useless could I possibly be?”

THAT is speaking negatively and is HORRENDOUS.
Compare that to this:

“Wow, I can’t believe I was careless enough to fuck up the ONE task I had.
All I needed to do was flip the leftmost switch on the wall, I know I’m better than that.
Next time I’ve got to do better. Whatever happens, I’m going to deal with the consequences in stride.”

If that doesn’t sound like you’re being “Hard on yourself.”
It’s not, but just like being “Smarteris relative, so is being “hard on yourself”

The BIG 180 of this post.

Yeah, turns out this whole time “Be hard on yourself” is actually just “hold yourself accountable

Framed in a slightly edgy way to get your attention on something important..

Nobody wants to take responsibility for their faults anymore and wants to feel relief from the impending doom of consequences.

If you have a HEALTHY conception of responsibility for your actions, like Morty #2 in this scenario, you most likely won’t benefit from this post as much, but just remember:

Talking down to yourself is NEVER going to fix things. You deserve better than to be your own worst enemy.

Instead, highlight the fact that you are BETTER than what you did and think critically on WHY you chose to do something beneath your standard.

Tough love will absolutely mold you into the right person.
Why is that? because “Tough love” is really just an archaic way of pushing someone into responsibility.

Responsibility is your best friend.

When friends, family, (or if you work a traditional job), a supervisor puts you into a situation you don’t WANT to be a part of, but does so because they KNOW it’ll help mold you into something better and that you’re capable of doing, thank them.

When I’d work in IT during my first few years of college, I was BY FAR the most well-liked individual in the building.

Everyone in the entire building preferred to have me work with them, over anyone else (except my boss, who was and is an absolute ROCKSTAR at his job.)
In fact, In the course of a year and a half, I made the MOST out of any lead in my position, ever.

Do you know what’s even fucking crazier?

I literally was NOT qualified for that job AT ALL.

Initially, I was hired to move some documents and scan them into the databases.

I happened to hear him mention that he needed to process some videos, and I mentioned I knew how to edit videos with sony vegas/adobe after effects since I was 11.
(thank god for call of duty montages and RSMV’s lmao.)

He took me under his wing, showed me how to get things movin’ and the rest was cake.
Before I was a lead, I fucked up a few dozen times.

He had to have a few 1 on 1’s with me about my mistakes, but after everything was said and done, I showed I would always take responsibility.

He knew that I could be held accountable and that I was willing to put in the extra effort to make sure things got done when they needed to be.

When you are responsible, driven, and accountable you are a goldmine.

If you try to deflect blame, skirt your assignments, and always aim for an easy out, this is your wake-up call.
You need to think CRITICALLY about why you’re choosing these routes.
Honestly, you deserve better than getting looked down on for trying to snake your way out of difficult or tedious assignments.
You need to experience what difficulty is before immediately looking for “quick/smart” ways out.

If you are CONSTANTLY looking for “time-hacks/ quick ways out.”
then you need to legitimately be harder on yourself.
You need to stop trying to make EVERYTHING easier, or you’ll be disappointed when it’s hard and inescapable.
Remember this quote:

phillip brooks, you deserve better than to be praying for easy lives, if anything, pray to be a stronger man


Work Harder AND SMARTER.

When you feel like you aren’t good enough for something, it’s an indication of insecurity in a given domain.

I.E. you are an insecure that you don’t deserve the right to do something or have something.

There is no fucking reason you were born, lived THIS LONG and shouldn’t be where you are/ or given something you think is spectacular.

Frame it this way, let’s say someone wants to give you an EXPENSIVE watch for doing a good job.

Someone has worked for that piece of craftsmanship and has decided that YOU should have it.

If for SOME reason, you WANT to be self-deprecating, think of it like this:

WHO are YOU to tell THEM, they’re wrong?

Do you think they’re too STUPID to see something “SO OBVIOUS” like your lack of worth?

No.

Shut the fuck up and work harder so you feel like you “Deserve” it if so.

If anything, you could use it as a reminder that people think more of you than you do yourself.

Keep small motivational tokens (like sticky notes around the house) and never stop moving.

Work Harder not Smarter – Chris Deoudes


Chris from Good Looking Loser is someone I reference a LOT
(same with Jon Anthony, From MasculineDevelopment.com in the aspects of creating actionable and positive outcomes for your life.)

He always was a pivotal figure for helping me reframe my thoughts into more productive endeavours.

One thing that resonated with me HEAVILY was his “Get a Life” series.

I highly recommend this video if you’re lost or need something to re-center yourself into being productive.

If you’re REALLY lost and have NO PLAN or aren’t being productive, here’s what i recommend:

Getting in shape makes you look better and teaches you discipline.

Reading more makes you more well rounded and interesting.

These two combined will likely make it easier to find some friends.

Having fun with friends as opposed to being depressed will make it easier to figure out what you TRULY VALUE.

Work in line with your values to do something that makes the world better.

Until next time, Toodles!


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